Joke | a.j. Lombardi

Here are a few of fat guys favorite people and places as well as general dislikes...

Favorite seaport to go sailing is Port A Bella!

They like lazy people because lazy people are always loafing around!

Like Lawyers and interrogators because they are always grilling!

Enjoy people who hold grudges because they are always stewing!

They like people who tell tall tales because those people are full of beans!

They are fond of people who are who have bad attitudes because those people have a big chip on their shoulders!

Fond of accountants because they like to cook the books!

They are overjoyed because the queen knighted their best friend Sir Loin!

Have friends who like the spotlight because their hams!

They have a lot of friends who are Indians because Indians always have reservations!

When going on a plane trip they always go on 747 jets because those planes have big wings!

They like tough guys because tough guys like to start a beef!

Their favorite place to visit is the leaning tower of Pizza!

They spend a lot of time on computers because computers have cookies!

Enjoy reading story books about Mother goose!

They are always with people who go sled riding in the winter because they love sliders!

Have a lot of fun with stupid people because they are half baked!

They have parents named Ma and Pa Kettle!

They love to go to weddings because their always giving a toast!

When they don't know what to say they become very quickly flab er gas ted

They spend a lot of time at a tree a cutter's house because he chops for a living!

Love to listen to congress because they always talk about cutting pork!

They don't like people who are always afraid to do things because those people always chicken out!

The list of pies they don't like ---

Want to play poker because they use a lot of chips!

They love to visit the homes of Dutch people because they talk danish!

They enjoy watching old re-runs of Dean Martins comedy roast!

Don't like cop shows due to cereal killers!

Their favorite actors in the Wizard of Oz is the lolly pop kids!

They love to get their picture taken because everyone says cheese!

Favorite female band is the spice girls!

They want to work for mail order companies because in that job you are always stuffing envelopes!

Their favorite dare devil game is chicken!

Their number one singer is Meatloaf!

Most favored aunt is Aunt Jemima!

They forgive people who don't tell the truth. "It's only because they love to fudge!

Number one cartoon character is Platter puss!

They love to be commended by bosses who say "good job well done".

Like those who give money away because givers always fork in over!

They want to go to scary movies with me because I scream!

Love to vacation in the cara beans!

They love people who like to talk a lot because those people are always chewing the fat!

They want to speak Italian because people always say Chow!

Slow walkers are their best friends because slow walkers never catch up!

They enjoy fools who are always in a pickle!

Always buying new pants because they have pockets!

Wear open toe sandals because sandals have free toes!

Give donations to girl scouts because girl scouts have brownies!

Fighting words: fat free ice cream, slim fast and carrots!

Most disliked snack - slim jims!

They like absent minded people because absent minders are out to lunch!

Dirty Harry is their favorite movie hero because he's always pistol whipping someone!

Best pop band -- red hot chilly peppers!

Their most disliked yogurt -- the kind you eat!

Favorite Hawaiian actor is Soupy Sales!

Favorite Disney character -- Donald duck!

Best actor -- Kevin Bacon!

Enjoy riding in submarines -- they have torpedoes!

They like turkeys because turkeys are always saying gobble, gobble gobble!

Wish that Jenny Craig could be deported!

Never listen to county music by Chet Atkins!

Their favorite charity is big sisters!

Most disliked bakery -- one that's closed!

Favorite pet bird is a swallow!

Favorite pet dog is a chew wha wha!

They understand that going into business is a lot of hard work and pot luck!

Admire people who flatter you because they like to butter you up!

Feel that dumb people need a break because they are just a bunch of egg heads!

They like algebra because pie = square!

Words that should be removed from the dictionary: low carb, slow cooker and yogurt!

They love dancers because dancers love to shake!

Very friendly with money makers because they bring in the dough!

Number one teacher -- Mrs. Butterworth!

They have fun with teasers because teasers love to rib!

Have a lot of respect for old men with money because they are sugar daddy's!

They forgive those who run from the army because they wanted to desert!

Their favorite movie of all time is fried green tomatoes.

Most favored general -- general chow!

They love New York because it has a big apple!

They don't like anyone named Jim!

Number one best friend -- Carl A Marri!

Best game to play -- Domino's!

Wish their fathers name was Papa Gino or Papa John!

They love girls with a lot of makeup because their cheesy!

Wish their girlfriend's name was Patty!

They relish their friends!

They envy those who make bad decisions because their always in a jam!

Don't like Santa Claus because he eats all their cookies!

Are angry that Chinese restaurants have slow service and watermelons are to small!

They want to work in pillow factories because pillows get stuffed!

Think parachutes make great tee shirts!

Never go bunji jumping without a steel cable!

Angry because 23 hour restaurants are not open all day!

Love tight seats because you are always sandwiched in!

Enjoy going to amusement parks because they have a big roll a coaster!

Their favorite aunt is aunt Jemima!

They like when people sneeze because they say ah chew!

Most favorite civil war story - Custards last stand!

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